I fall asleep alone

I'm not affraid of death
or at least
that's how I lie to myself
so I can fall asleep
in my corner...

I'm not affraid of death
but I feel a kind of fear
hungry and selfish fear
which is never satisfied
with the achievements and fullfilments.

I'm not affraid of death
but I believe that I haven't loved enough
and I can't leave
before finishing loving
somehow, I wish I will never finish loving...

I'm not affraid of death
but I looked behind me
and I haven't seen anything
I bearly left a mark:
a name, a piece of mind, another day, another song...

I'm not affraid of death
but I am human and I learnt from fear
I learnt from love
I have to study for tomorrow's exam
I have to learn... everything.

I'm not affraid of death
but I haven't held my life
in my arms, close to my chest,
to protect it from the unknown
until my life will walk, talk, sing, protect onwards...

I'm not affraid of death
or at least
not all of it
I already know a part of it
and maybe that's why I'm so terrified of death.

I fall asleep alone...