Collective hell is silence

Here's something you will never hear...
The silence of the earthly hell.
I've been there and I'm not proud,
Nor stronger, nor wiser than I was.
It just broke me, as I'm remembering now...
You will never hear a more evil sound
Than the background noise of you, not dying.
I remember and my heart was ripped in two...
I feel the drought, to cry it out, to drown it,
But I'm out of there and now I walk in the rain.
I feel the pain but it's just the memory of it.
I feel the loneliness but there you were,
Today, in your words, yesterday in my thoughts...
I remember screaming, mostly in vain,
Like a mute, trying to sing to his walls.
But the walls weren't coming,
They weren't getting closer or answering...
There I was, in total silence, screaming.
One day, you came in and put your hand on my chest.
My heart, it knew, it remembered you,
And I could breathe again, I could sing to my walls...
Your hand knew me and brought peace,
Because those walls were built for you.
But to keep you out, I had to memorize you in...
I have always forgotten the paralysis
Because I was never awake,
I was never dead, just gone for a little bit.
I was never there, just a little bit closer, in a field,
Wandering, wondering what happened to me,
How come I forgot me,
How come you never forgot me?
I couldn't even think of it all, I dreamed it though...
The end of the world, just a childhood mistake,
The  laugh of the underworld, just an old town's make.
Falling asleep was all I could do,
But not during the day, when time was far away,
Hiding from my eyes, in a corner...
During the day, I had to count, to imagine a second,
A minute, an hour, for what seemed to me,
After my calculations, like a few eternities.
But you didn't knew anything,
I knew my anything, and you just knew the something
That the walls told you in the shadows,
Maybe nothing new today...
Hey, I'm still there, waiting inpatiently, for your hand
To bring me peace one more time.
I know now and I would apologise forever,
For my egoistic choice of asking you,
Just a little bit more than I deserved,
For some of your days to rent, just 'till I got mine back...